I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
