It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize