Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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