I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's get the cat blown out
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
