Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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