Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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