You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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