i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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