This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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