Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
