i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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