Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
