just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
