the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
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we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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