What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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