Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize