I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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