using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
