I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
don't judge my taste in strippers
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
