We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
