I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
