Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
