I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
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