Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
