so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
