You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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