Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
