and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
