You're so nebulous sometimes
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just forgot I was standing up.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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