Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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