if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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