an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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