i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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