Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize