okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I need a beard to bite.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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