oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
