Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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