Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
