And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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