If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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