is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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