There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
