I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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