I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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