It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
