waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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