I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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