i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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