The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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