I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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