Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
