haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
