Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
