I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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