my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
