he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
