Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize