Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My vagina just clenched in fear
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
