how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
